Joshua Mead

The Rehab Diary – Day 6 to 9

Day 6:

Wednesday 27th December 2023. Woke up groggy again, however from a very good sleep so I am assuming a deep sleep, not a bad thing. After breakfast we had a group session on ‘Step 1’ – for which yesterday I was given a workbook to work on over the next week. For those who don’t know, Step 1 is “We admitted we were powerless over our addiction” The group session was a good starting point to help complete the workbook which I have a week to complete before discussing with my key worker again.

After I took the afternoon to rest mostly, get my washing done and I had a one-to-one wellbeing session, this is where you’re just asked generally about your wellbeing, how you are feeling, are you comfortable, etc.

The final part of the day was an external CA meeting, my first ever CA meeting. CA is Cocaine Anonymous but it’s open to any addiction and follows the same 12-step program as AA and NA. I was told by others in the rehab that CA was always a good meeting so thought I’d give it a go, like AA I could relate to a lot of what people were sharing and it was a great experience. I’d certainly consider CA again next week. A better format to AA for me personally. 

Detox Medication:

Diazepam – 20 mg
Vitamin B Complex

In the morning group session we were shown this video, I think it’s a great representation of recovery and the disease of addiction, how it affects all walks of life, and how by sharing with other addicts can brighten your day.

During the group session we were given a very good analogy too, one that could be useful for a non-addict to understand how it feels for an addict when those cravings take over. That was imagine being addicted to Oxygen, we all are, we need it to survive. Now, hold your breath, what happens – eventually your brain forces you to take a breath, to keep you alive, to keep you going. Now imagine someone is holding their hand over your mouth, so you can’t take that breath – that is how powerful an addicts craving can be. It’s a great analogy and sums up addictive nature.

Day 7:

Thursday 28th December 2023. NOT A GOOD DAY! – the detox withdrawals are now kicking in, I was warned and was aware that a ‘benzo’ or Diazepam detox can have delayed withdrawal effects. A friend I met at my home NA group messaged me this morning to ask how I was doing and that he had been speaking with someone who said to him ” A valium (Diazepam) detox is considered to be the worst drug to detox from”

Man, he is right. Other than eating (I’ve still got my appetite) I have been in bed all day. Symptoms: dissociation, agitation and tiredness.

Detox Medication:

Diazepam – 15 mg
Vitamin B Complex

Day 8:

Friday 29th December 2023. Felt a lot better today compared to yesterday, some of the withdrawal and shock had calmed down, my memory is absolutely useless though so I’m needed to write everything down (good for the blog though). A rehab is great for those moments you’re going through craving, you still stupidly ask for more but the physiological effect of someone saying NO helps, your brain then tends to move onto something else, something more productive. It’s settling.

Today’s group session was on relapse prevention. Some shocking statistics in the short term on relapse rates after treatment, as high as 60% on average and so the importance of the next 3 weeks on how to cope with those urges/cravings/triggers is going to be important. Everyone says you need willpower, willpower is not a good resource for an addict.

Detox Medication:

Diazepam – 10 mg
Vitamin B Complex

Zopiclone – 7.5mg

We were shown an interesting video – The story of the Two Wolves is a popular legend of unknown exact origin, but usually associated with the Cherokee. The legend is a story of a grandfather or elder using a metaphor of two wolves fighting within him to explain inner conflicts to his grandson, or other young person.

Day 9:

Saturday 30th December 2023. Woke up feeling fresh and alert for the first time, I have been prescribed Zopiclone for 3 days to get through the worst of the withdrawal effects short term – specifically at night. If anyone is considering a rehab I cannot recommend Cassiobury Court enough – amazing staff, amazing support and fantastic food. Here’s a little preview of lunch, they cannot do enough for you!

Very chilled and relaxing day today, not too much going on. We have a quiz night, our team won.

Detox Medication:

Diazepam – 5 mg

Zopiclone – 7.5mg

4 Responses

  1. Keep it going Joshi. Sounds like you are getting the help you need! Stay on the path!
    Thanks for sharing your experience
    Sending good thoughts and blessing from across the pond!
    2024 the year of the Joshi comeback drug free.

  2. Such interesting reading Josh.

    Wishing you a very happy new year. Just know 2024 is going to be good for you.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *